Sora Estrella

My name is Sora Estrella. I'm an artist driven by whatever catches my eye. Whatever happens to spark passion in my heart is the thing I choose to follow and pursue. I'm guided by my heart to where I need to be and it's lead me to many new things, places, dreams, and passions. Now it's lead me here.

When I was a kid, I was never very good at understanding how to expressing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. For most of my childhood, having energy, thoughts, and emotions where all things that I never had the ability to have or understand due to all the drugs and medication I was given as a kid for ADHD. Everyday, for my entire childhood, I was constantly forced to take these drugs that would always drain me of my energy and my desire to express it. As a result, I had to grow up for most of my childhood not being able to feel or think anything for myself. I was an empty shell that thought nothing, did nothing, said nothing, and felt nothing. This also meant that I wasn't capable of objecting to anything that happened to me either because the drugs always kept me silent and if I ever misbehaved or tried to resist the medicine in any way then the doses were only increased. It didn't matter much anyway because by the time I was in middle school I no longer felt the need or desire to try and resist the medicine because I had already been drained of all of my energy, thoughts, and emotions so I wasn't capable of wanting or thinking anything against the situation.

Everything stayed the same for a very long time until one day everything finally changed. After a long time of thinking nothing and feeling nothing, I finally had a thought. "I feel pretty empty." It was very sudden and it was as if the realization had just hit me all at once. It was as if for one moment I was finally awake and I thought, "I want to experience what it's like to feel things," "actually, I want to feel what it's like to fall in love."

So from that moment on, I began following my heart for the first time and now it's brought me here. My heart has lead me to many new things and places and it's still leading me to more; like experiences, friends, dreams, passions, etc. but the most important things are the ones that stay with me and define who I am. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing but I'm constantly growing and learning something new.

For me, love was the key to unlocking the rest of my emotions which had been locked away for so long. Although, unfortunately, that also included emotions like hate, sorrow, and jealousy. At first it wasn't easy to understand all these new emotions and colors and it's really easy to get lost in the things like hate, sorrow, and jealousy but every time I got lost my heart was always there to guide me back.

It's not always easy to understand where your heart takes you or why but sometimes it's just because that's where you need to be. The colors of the heart are constantly shifting from color to color so no two are ever the same but they all lead to the same place. Just in different ways. I feel like I've come a long way in understanding the heart and as far as I know I don't think it will ever be fully understood unless we listen to it and follow it.